They are not referring to our country's parents and schools feeding our children pus-filled mucus that makes them obese and contributes to them getting osteoporosis, kidney stones, liver cancer, and colon cancer, not to mention causes them to ingest active hormones, herbicides, pesticides, dioxins, antibiotics, bacteria, viruses, blood, and feces. No, the milk crisis they are referring to is that milk prices are "too low".
The Onion has some funnyish commentary about the problem:
"Though the circumstances are unfortunate, the cows must martyr themselves to preserve the honor of the National Milk Producers Federation. And the errant farmers should be sent to the desert for reeducation."
"I can understand the milk producers' rage at the cows for overproducing this whitish mucus that causes acute stomach distress and spoils easily."This national program to kill cows is headed by the National Milk Producers Federation, who must have the same PR person as the guy who came up with "collateral damage": Using a term that encapsulates their udder detachment from reality, program officials from the National Milk Producers Federation recently announced another “herd retirement”. Although you may think this means the cows will be put up in an assisted living facility with bingo and jazzercise classes, it will actually just send 100,000 more animals to be killed.
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1 comments:
I have always recognized the milk crisis as an issue of drinking it and I was totally confused when the current crisis came about a few months ago! I thought people were realizing that milk was bad for them, like a new diet fad, like South Beach. I was slow to realize they meant a crisis in price: that farmers were getting 35% less in Feb. 09.
Industry experts tie the price drop to both a bloated U.S. dairy herd and the collapse of export markets.
A year ago, milk was selling at close to record levels, driven largely by success in international markets.
But the nation's 9.3 million-cow dairy herd kept on expanding -- until now, apparently.
Fun fact: milk is the number one consumed food item in the US (b/c cheese, ice cream, etc). Potatoes are #2! (b/c fries) Go potatoes!
I REALLY like your assisted living facility idea! :) We should lobby for universal health care for cows.
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